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Oh how I used to delight in the thought of my good mate Heston Blumenthal popping onto our screens to create some kind of crazy blancmange out of 18 kinds of cheese and an old bike frame, the anticipation of whether the celebrity guests would enjoy his latest culinary Frankensteins monster, all the test tubes and bunsen burners and ingredients that should never be. BUT! After watching possibly only 6 programmes here and there I find his television show to be a right annoying pile of tits, as he ponces on screen with his stupid white doctors coat and specky face, the sunlight gleaming off his self contented fat bald egg of an head. What changed? is it me? or has he become the most irritating of all the twatty men that get massive amounts of cash for cooking on the telly.
I think the worst bit is the questions ''will I be able to pass off sheep knackers and castrol 2 stroke oil as a lobster bisque?'' followed by screen footage of him doing it, at least give us something to hang onto, a small element of surprise is all I ask. I think the next episode should contain the question ''can I smash my own face in with a small rock hammer for the next half an hour?'' followed by the usual tension ruining footage of it happening ........................................Can I bang 7 inch rusty nails into my own bladder? of course you can Heston do us all a favour.
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